BEGIN:VCALENDAR
PRODID:-//Squeak-iCalendar//-
VERSION:2.0
METHOD:PUBLISH
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124334---28284d33-2a1c-4d3e-8889-47f746ad1eb8@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124334Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversations / Men / Women / Power
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversations / Men / Women / Power\n
Text: In univer
 sity faculty meetings (studied by Barbara and Gene Eakins)\, men consisten
 tly speak more often "and\, without exception\, spoke for a longer time. .
 .. [T]he women's longest turns were still shorter than the men's shortest 
 turns." (75)\n
\n
Similarly\, conversations between peers (in any environm
 ent) can turn into lectures\, another situation in which "the alignment in
  which women and men find themselves arrayed is asymmetical." (125)\n
\n
"
 Women and men fall into this unequal pattern so often because of the diffe
 rences in their interactional habits.  Since women seek to build rapport\,
  they are inclined to play down their expertise rather than display it [wh
 ereas] men value the position of center stage and the feeling of knowing m
 ore" (125)\n
\n
Note the studies of psychologist H. M. Leet-Pellegrini\, w
 ho studies whether gender or expertise would determine who was a more "dom
 inant" speaker\n
\n
"[M]en experts talked more than women experts" (127) a
 nd expert women were supportive (not dominant) towards nonexpert ment\, wi
 th "[o]bservers often [rating] the male nonexpert as more dominant than th
 e female expert."\n
\n
"One of the reasons men's talk to women frequently 
 turns into lecturing is *because* women listen attentively and do not inte
 rrupt with challenges\, sidetracks\, or matching information." (144)\n
Dat
 e: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10669
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124334---5b7fd766-c706-4359-adba-2b2fdfb059c1@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124334Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Women / Collaboration / Conflict
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Women / Collaboration / Conflict\n
Text: "If boys and
  men often use opposition to establish connections\, girls and women can u
 se apparent cooperation and affiliation to be competitive and critical." (
 171)\n
\n
They can "enact competition within a framework of cooperation"\n
 
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11099
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124334---4ba5a0bb-bffa-42aa-880b-666ca9a0389d@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124334Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Humor / Power
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Humor / Power\n
Text: Tannen: "Making others laugh gi
 ves you a fleeting power over them: As linguist Wallace Chafe points out\,
  at the moment of laughter\, a person is temporarily disabled." (140)\n
Da
 te: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10960
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124334---2b232bb3-72bb-4215-853f-26c5a89e2ddd@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124334Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Women / Conversations
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Women / Conversations\n
Text: "[M]ale-female co
 nversations are more like men's conversations than they are like women's. 
  So when women and men talk to each other\, both make adjustments\, but th
 e women make more.  Women are at a disadvantage in mixed-sex groups\, beca
 use they have had less practice in conducting conversation the way it is b
 eing conducted in these groups."\n
\n
Tannen\, 237\n
Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 
 9683
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124334---c8552f69-59ac-4a05-a91e-10af9d4412df@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124334Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversation / Relationships / Power / Knowledge
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversation / Relationships / Power / Knowledge\n
Te
 xt: Tannen: "For most women\, the language of conversation is primarily a 
 language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating rel
 ationships.  Emphasis is placed on displaying similarities and matching ex
 periences. ... For most men\, talk is primarily a means to preserve indepe
 ndence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order.  
 This is done by exhibiting knowledge and skill\, and by holding center sta
 ge through verbal performance such as storytelling\, joking\, or imparting
  information." (77)\n
\n
\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10681
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---6cac6d54-6f6f-4dc2-9d64-02c6f10cdb5b@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Relationships / Power / Conversation
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Relationships / Power / Conversation\n
Text: Tannen: 
 "All forms of rapport can [also] be used to undercut.  Showing elaborate c
 oncern for other's feelings can frame you as the social worker who has it 
 all together\, and them as your patients." (173)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11
 111
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---69c89234-6f50-41e7-8379-5fca87e93265@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Women / Power / Perception
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Women / Power / Perception\n
Text: Tannen\, 240
 : "Whatever a man does to enhance his authority also enhances his masculin
 ity.  But if a woman adapts her style to a position of authority that she 
 has achieved or to which she aspires\, she risks compromising her feminini
 ty\, in the eyes of others."\n
Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9695
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---16e6c213-2f62-4b77-96d3-611499ba33fd@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Information / Men / Women / Conversations
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Information / Men / Women / Conversations\n
Text: Tan
 nen: "To [men]\, talk is for information ... But for [women]\, talk is for
  interaction." (81) \n
\n
Note than Tannen amends this in the new Afterwor
 d: "[W]omen and men are both interested in information -- only different k
 inds.  ... [Men's] report-talk is about *impersonal* information whereas r
 apport-talk is about *personal* information." (303)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID:
  10693
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---b8b585f4-9fae-4abe-b243-69b04d79a89c@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Women / Conversation / Narrative / Community / Conflict
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Women / Conversation / Narrative / Community / 
 Conflict\n
Text: Barbara Johnstone studied "fifty-eight conversational nar
 ratives" and learned that "the women's stories tend to be about community\
 , while the men's tend to be about contest."\n
\n
see more\, Tannen 177\n

 Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11123
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---9dcc71ea-329e-4491-b94e-58c5afcebfce@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Language / Power / To Read
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Language / Power / To Read\n
Text: Michael Geis' "The
  Language of Politics"\n
\n
Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9707
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---172c3162-416c-4099-a36e-d53dbb013749@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversations / Men / Women / Power
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversations / Men / Women / Power\n
Text: Tannen 95
 : \n
\n
When "men do all the talking at meetings\," they may be assuming t
 hat "others are as free as they are to take the floor.  In this sense\, me
 n's speaking out freely can be seen as evidence that they assume women are
  at the same level of status"\n
\n
but Tannen aptly points out "a woman wh
 o is not accustomed to speaking up in groups is *not* as free as [a man] i
 s to do so ... bring admitted as an equal is not in itself assurance of eq
 ual opportunity\, if one is not accustomed to playing the game the way it 
 is being played."\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10705
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---1d2e3bd0-7ae2-4300-b4d6-dba18f5d3f32@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Game / Relationships
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Game / Relationships\n
Text: scholar Janet Lever\, in
  her studies of the games played by young women\, found that non-competiti
 ve games can be used to gauge popularity\n
\n
Tannen's summary: "[One] gam
 e [discussed] is fun because it manipulates and plays off the commodity th
 at is important to girls -- the strength of their affiliations -- just as 
 the boys' games play off their valued commodity-- skill.  The girls' game 
 is an experiment in shifting alliances." (180-181)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 
 11135
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---b948b9bb-6821-49df-9887-8303aebb7ed4@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Women / Conversation
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Women / Conversation\n
Text: Tannen\, 274: "For ... w
 omen and girls\, agreeing and being the same are ways to create rapport.  
 Excelling\, being different\, and fighting are threats to rapport."\n
\n
B
 oys "[buy] rapport\, too\, but they buy it with a different currency."\n
D
 ate: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9719
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---a8e2d5e4-99e6-42f5-8a44-db31379ccb21@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Women / Reality / Experience / Information / Logic / Relation
 ships
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Women / Reality / Experience / Information / Lo
 gic / Relationships\n
Text: Tannen: women have a tendency to engage in "ma
 king sense of the world as a ... private endeavor -- observing and integra
 ting [their] personal experience and drawing connections to the experience
  of others"\n
\n
Men\, by contrast\, tend to treat the world as a "more pu
 blic endeavor" and tend to rely on outside information or "devising argume
 nts by rules of formal logic" (92)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10717
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---ea148102-c053-43fb-b62a-3bf4cf0c62e4@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Women / Conversations
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Women / Conversations\n
Text: Tannen: "[O]ne of
  the most widely cited findings to emerge from research on gender and lang
 uage is that men interrupt women." (188)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11147
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---1afc830b-f970-4c56-bd9e-7c81ff81a8f5@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Relationships / Ritual / Conflict
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Relationships / Ritual / Conflict\n
Text: Tannen disc
 usses the "ritualized" nature of "friendly aggression"\n
\n
women tend to 
 indulge in ritualized aggression less frequently (see Walter Ong's Fightin
 g For Life)\, and so "women are inclined to misinterpret and be puzzled by
  the adversativeness [Ong's concept] of many men's ways of speaking" (150)
 \n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11006
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---2fde30a3-ee58-4d83-b303-767f6a1ed61b@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Control / Love
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Control / Love\n
Text: Erving Goffman: "[M]ale 
 domination is a very special kind\, a domination that can be carried right
  into the gentlest\, most loving moment without apparently causing strain 
 -- indeed\, these moments can hardly be conceived of apart from these asym
 metries."\n
\n
quoted by Tannen\, 287\n
Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9731
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---82709c2c-559e-4c6d-8b0b-da3a9dcf6b2a@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Poetry / Oral Tradition
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Poetry / Oral Tradition\n
Text: Greek laments -- "spo
 ntaneous\, ritualized\, oral poems"\n
\n
a similar "lament tradition" has 
 emerged in Bali\n
\n
see folklorist Anna Caravelli or anthropologist Joel 
 Kuipers\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10729
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---23e1ffc0-620d-4244-afb6-af8c3dd009e1@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversations
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversations\n
Text: Interruption is complicated bec
 ause of interplay between "high involvement" and "high considerateness" st
 yles\n
\n
"High considerateness" speakers expect longer pauses between spe
 aking turns\; "high involvement" speakers will detect these pauses and spe
 ak to fill in an uncomfortable silence\n
\n
Tannen\, 196\n
\n
See also "co
 operative overlappers" (203)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11159
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---c797a3d4-6def-454a-8827-ad2ab51faff4@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Science / Nature / Men
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Science / Nature / Men\n
Text: Evelyn Fox Keller sugg
 ests that science's tendency towards "dominating and controlling nature" i
 s "essentially masculine in spirit" (Tannen's summary\, 70)\n
Date: 09/21/
 07\n
ID: 11018
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---3e36ff14-f0a2-43c7-83e0-2e7b8f7a16ec@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Gift Economy
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Gift Economy\n
Text: hxaro is the !Kung tradition of 
 cooperative gift-giving\; moka is the New Guinean competitive gift-giving 
 tradition (more similar to potlatch battles)\n
\n
see Tannen\, 295-6\n
Dat
 e: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9743
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---dc2a7ffa-8257-4514-8653-4ad8ba7c685b@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Control
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Control\n
Text: "The effect of dominance is not alway
 s the result of an intention to dominate." Deborah Tannen\, 18\n
Date: 08/
 07/07\n
ID: 8323
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070807
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070807
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---9a9d1e5f-7011-4868-b8b2-3f98c1cad41d@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Power / Communication / Men / Women / Conversations
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Power / Communication / Men / Women / Conversations\n
 
Text: Tannen: Many men engage the world as individuals "in a hierarchical
  social order in which [they are] either one-up or one-down."\n
\n
but man
 y women engage the world "as [individuals] in a network of connections.  I
 n this world\, conversations are negotiations for closeness in which peopl
 e try to seek and give confirmation and support"\n
\n
Date: 08/07/07\n
ID:
  8324
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070807
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070807
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---15857c93-b45c-4e36-8d61-90be4ce80fa6@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Communication / Power / Relationships
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Communication / Power / Relationships\n
Text: "[T]her
 e is always a paradox entailed in offering or giving help.  Insofar as it 
 serves the needs of the one helped\, it is a generous move that shows cari
 ng and builds rapport.  But insofar as it is asymmetrical\, giving help pu
 ts one person in a superior position with respect to the other."\n
-Tannen
 \, p. 32\n
\n
"[G]iving advice is asymmetrical.  It frames the advice give
 r as more knowledgeable\, more reasonable\, more in control -- in a word\,
  one-up.  And this contributes to [a] distancing effect." (53)\n
Date: 08/
 08/07\n
ID: 8325
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070808
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070808
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---174dc929-029c-4ef8-b71c-b80a046b920d@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Communication / Concept / Relationships
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Communication / Concept / Relationships\n
Text: Tanne
 n: metamessages (as in Bateson) *frame* a conversation ... they "let you k
 now how to interpret what someone is saying by identifying the activity th
 at is going on"\n
\n
"At the same time\, they let you know what position t
 he speaker is assuming in the activity\, and what position you are being a
 ssigned."\n
\n
"Sociologist Erving Goffman uses the term *alignment* to ex
 press this aspect of framing.  If you put me down\, you are taking a super
 ior alignment with respect to me."\n
Date: 08/08/07\n
ID: 8326
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070808
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070808
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---a9f265c3-75a5-4ea7-bd6b-454ef9cda7b6@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Conversations / Suffering
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Conversations / Suffering\n
Text: Tannen 101: "
 [When a man] makes reference to a difficult personal situation [to friends
 ]\, it will likely be minimal and vague ('It's been rough')."\n
Date: 09/2
 1/07\n
ID: 10741
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---81cfba15-7606-4fd4-a093-8c1587ad1e3a@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversations / Communication / Information / Power / Reality
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversations / Communication / Information / Power /
  Reality\n
Text: Tannen: "Much-- even most --meaning in conversation does 
 no reside in he words spoken at all\, but is filled in by the person liste
 ning.  Each of us decides whether we think others are speaking in the spir
 it of differing status or symmetrical connection."\n
\n
Individuals make t
 hese interpretations based on "the hearer's own focus\, concerns\, and hab
 its"\n
Date: 08/08/07\n
ID: 8327
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070808
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070808
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---3dd0e8b1-1804-49ad-b53c-6952f63931ee@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Communication / Power / Men / Women / Relationships
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Communication / Power / Men / Women / Relationships\n
 
Text: studies of children's play have revealed that "The chief commodity 
 that is bartered in the boys' hierarchical world is status\, and the way t
 o achieve and maintain status is to give orders and get others to follow t
 hem ... [whereas] the chief commodity that is bartered in the girls' commu
 nity is intimacy." (Tannen)\n
Date: 08/08/07\n
ID: 8328
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070808
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070808
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---0c014682-9d58-4574-91a4-44121dd9afd0@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversations / Culture
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversations / Culture\n
Text: Tannen: in "many cult
 ures in the world ... talking together is valued in casual conversation.  
 This seems to be the norm in more parts of the world than the northern Eur
 opean norm of one-speaker-speaks-at-a-time."\n
\n
Karl Reisman observed "c
 ontrapuntal conversations" in Antigua\, but also see Hawaii\, Thai\, Japan
 \, Italy\n
\n
Also\, all-women's groups in North America (see folklorist S
 usan Kalcik's studies\, or Deborah James and Janice Drakich) -- they have 
 a tendency towards "cooperative overlap\," a particular style of interrupt
 ion (202-3)\n
\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11171
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---bfad94e5-c392-42a5-9b09-146d696c130f@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Communication / Men / Women
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Communication / Men / Women\n
Text: "Women show conce
 rn by following up someone else's statement of trouble by questioning her 
 about it."\n
\n
By contrast: "[w]hen men try to reassure women by telling 
 them that their situation is not so bleak\, the women hear their feelings 
 being belittled or discounted."\n
\n
Tannen\, 59\n
Date: 08/08/07\n
ID: 83
 31
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070808
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070808
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---60471f40-f876-44e1-9a5e-5ccb9f96c3f7@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversation / Relationships
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversation / Relationships\n
Text: Tannen: In conve
 rsation\, "providing solutions to minor problems" is beside the point\, bu
 t it also "cuts short the conversation\, which *is* the point.  If one pro
 blem is solved\, then another must be found\, to keep the intimate convers
 ation going." (102)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11030
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---40e0f1c5-8cb7-4c18-9920-1f733473c264@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Communication / Men / Women
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Communication / Men / Women\n
Text: Telling a woman t
 hat a problem can be easily fixed implies (to a woman hearer) that "she [h
 as] no right to feel bad about it."\n
\n
Also: "Telling about a problem is
  [experienced by women as] a bid for an expression of understanding ... [T
 ]roubles talk is intended to reinforce rapport by sending the meta-message
  'We're the same\; you're not alone.'  Women are frustrated when they not 
 only don't get this reinforcement but\, quite the opposite\, feel distance
 d by the advice\, which seems to send the metamessage 'We're not the same.
   You have the problems\; I have the solutions.'"\n
\n
Tannen\, 52-3\n
Dat
 e: 08/08/07\n
ID: 8332
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070808
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070808
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---07e6b339-0f8a-4691-b553-a496831fc1a7@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Communication / Men
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Communication / Men\n
Text: Men will\, at times\, try
  to argue one another out of the way they feel\n
\n
"By telling [another m
 an] that his feelings are unjustified and incomprehenisble\, [a male speak
 er] is not implying that he doesn't care.  He clearly means to comfort his
  friend"\n
\n
Tannen\, 57\n
Date: 08/08/07\n
ID: 8333
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070808
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070808
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---586d58b4-2e1b-46b7-a761-7dac17c85fd5@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Conversations / Information
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Conversations / Information\n
Text: Tannen's "r
 eport-talk" -- the exchange of non-personal information\, is a set of "exc
 hanges" that "negotiate men's friendships [and] working relationships."\n

 Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9755
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---638b5b0d-6d35-4cb0-badb-5f998527f262@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversations / Relationships / Power
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversations / Relationships / Power\n
Text: Tannen 
 (summarizing researcher Jacqueline Sachs) learns that girls avoid commands
  by making proposals\, using phrases like "Let's" ("let's sit down and use
  it")\, "We gonna\," "We could\," "Maybe\," and "We gotta" (153)\n
\n
"[T]
 hese proposals\, in addition to avoiding confrontation or telling others w
 hat to do\, are creative ways of keeping the girls equal in status." (155)
 \n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11042
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---fec6f5b6-ff67-4fca-a799-4ee2aac25ead@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Conversations / Children / Conflict
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Conversations / Children / Conflict\n
Text: Tannen: I
 talian children have a tradition of heated debate-- in Italian\, it is ref
 erred to as "discussione."  It is difficult for Americans to perceive it a
 s anything other than "arguing" (160)\n
\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 11054
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---3b765342-1059-4156-9f0b-151b17e7eaf9@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Communication / Conversations / Culture
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Communication / Conversations / Culture\n
Text: Tanne
 n (227): "[F]ar more cultures in the world use elaborate systems of indire
 ctness than value directness.  Only modern Western societies place a prior
 ity on direct communication"\n
Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9635
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---17a61982-7409-49c8-bf2b-de985f99f4c8@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Attention / Relationships
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Attention / Relationships\n
Text: Tannen: "The notici
 ng of details shows caring and creates involvement.  Men\, however\, often
  find women's involvement in details irritating.  Because women are concer
 ned first and foremost with establishing intimacy\, they value the telling
  of details." (115)\n
\n
This is the "who said what?" problem\n
\n
Tannen 
 describes a familiar-sounding case of a woman growing frustrated by having
  to prompt her husband with prompts like "What did she say?  What did he s
 ay?" (116)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10924
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---6afd453d-0b19-44bb-b7c9-ce9b05f420df@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Women / Conversations
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Women / Conversations\n
Text: Jacqueline Sachs' resea
 rch "found that girls used more than twice as many tag questions as boys."
 \n
\n
David and Robert Siegler found that people could guess the gender of
  a speaker based on the tag question variable\n
\n
Tag questions: "stateme
 nts with little questions added onto the end\, as in 'It's a nice day\, is
 n't it?'" (Tannen 228)\n
Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9647
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---46f19f3f-51df-405d-9e83-cf8ab7e0bb06@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Women / Men / Psychology / Conversation
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Women / Men / Psychology / Conversation\n
Text: Tanne
 n: "In a sense\, the values of therapy are those more typically associated
  with women's ways of talking than with men's.  This may be why a study sh
 owed that among inexperienced therapists\, women do better than men.  ... 
 Eventually\, perhaps\, men therapists-- and men in therapy --learn to talk
  like women." (121)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10936
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---d98c5309-50ec-46ef-94c3-9f23368fca1b@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Men / Women / Knowledge / Conversations / Perception
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Men / Women / Knowledge / Conversations / Perception\
 n
Text: Patricia Hayes Bradley:\n
\n
tag questions and disclaimers cause s
 tudy subjects to judge women "as less intelligent and knowledgeable *than 
 men who also used them*"\n
\n
similarly\, women who do not give support fo
 r arguments are judged as less intelligent and knowledgeable than men who 
 also do not give support for their own arguments\n
\n
Tannen: "[I]t is not
  the ways of talking that are having the effect so much as people's attitu
 des towards women and men." (228)\n
Date: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9659
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---43f241e1-f78b-41ce-8cfa-2f97a03cfd14@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Art of the Essay / Rumor
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Art of the Essay / Rumor\n
Text: a piece of landmark 
 journalism: 1963's "A Death in Emergency Room One\," by Jimmy Breslin\n
th
 is piece described the last moments of JFK's life but also looked at telli
 ng details to create verisimilitude -- to create "a pleasurable sense of i
 nvolvement" (Tannen compares it to a sort of gossip)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID
 : 10799
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---e50765bc-2643-447e-aedf-b4600c4d45f1@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Relationships / Power
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Relationships / Power\n
Text: Tannen on dependence: "
 Dependence is an asymmetrical involvement: One person needs the other\, bu
 t not vice versa\, so the needy person is one-down."\n
\n
By contrast\, "I
 nterdependence is symmetrical: Both parties rely on each other\, so neithe
 r is one-up or one-down."\n
\n
(131)\n
Date: 09/21/07\n
ID: 10948
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070921
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070921
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:20081205T124335---6e544dcd-04f1-4364-91f7-b772db7b7adf@shasta.smallthou
 ght.com
CREATED:20081205T124335Z
SEQUENCE:0
SUMMARY:Power / Conversations
PRIORITY:5
DESCRIPTION:Keywords: Power / Conversations\n
Text: Tannen: "[A]ccepting an
  apology is arguably quite rude.  From the point of view of connection\, a
 n apology should be matched.  And from the perspective of status\, an apol
 ogy should be deflected.  In this view\, a person who apologizes takes a o
 ne-down position\, and accepting the apology restores balance." (234)\n
Da
 te: 09/18/07\n
ID: 9671
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20070918
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20070918
END:VEVENT
END:VCALENDAR