You Just Don't Understand!: Men and Women In Conversation

Control

Tue, 07 Aug 07 13:29:06 -0500

Keywords: Control
Text: "The effect of dominance is not always the result of an intention to dominate." Deborah Tannen, 18
Date: 08/07/07
ID: 8323

Power / Communication / Men / Women / Conversations

Wed, 08 Aug 07 16:26:12 -0500

Keywords: Power / Communication / Men / Women / Conversations
Text: Tannen: Many men engage the world as individuals "in a hierarchical social order in which [they are] either one-up or one-down."
but many women engage the world "as [individuals] in a network of connections. In this world, conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support"
Date: 08/07/07
ID: 8324

Communication / Power / Relationships

Wed, 08 Aug 07 16:31:02 -0500

Keywords: Communication / Power / Relationships
Text: "[T]here is always a paradox entailed in offering or giving help. Insofar as it serves the needs of the one helped, it is a generous move that shows caring and builds rapport. But insofar as it is asymmetrical, giving help puts one person in a superior position with respect to the other."
-Tannen, p. 32
"[G]iving advice is asymmetrical. It frames the advice giver as more knowledgeable, more reasonable, more in control -- in a word, one-up. And this contributes to [a] distancing effect." (53)
Date: 08/08/07
ID: 8325

Communication / Concept / Relationships

Wed, 08 Aug 07 16:11:51 -0500

Keywords: Communication / Concept / Relationships
Text: Tannen: metamessages (as in Bateson) *frame* a conversation ... they "let you know how to interpret what someone is saying by identifying the activity that is going on"
"At the same time, they let you know what position the speaker is assuming in the activity, and what position you are being assigned."
"Sociologist Erving Goffman uses the term *alignment* to express this aspect of framing. If you put me down, you are taking a superior alignment with respect to me."
Date: 08/08/07
ID: 8326

Conversations / Communication / Information / Power / Reality

Wed, 08 Aug 07 16:15:40 -0500

Keywords: Conversations / Communication / Information / Power / Reality
Text: Tannen: "Much-- even most --meaning in conversation does no reside in he words spoken at all, but is filled in by the person listening. Each of us decides whether we think others are speaking in the spirit of differing status or symmetrical connection."
Individuals make these interpretations based on "the hearer's own focus, concerns, and habits"
Date: 08/08/07
ID: 8327